Resolve today to set yourself free and set others free from the tendency to criticize, blame or find fault. Paramahansa Yogananda said “it is possible to find fault with even the great works of art, yet why do that?” For many, fault finding is simply an unconscious habit. They are not aware that they do it consistently nor are they aware of the negative impact it has on themselves or others. Since our physical, mental, and emotional health is directly influenced by our prevailing thoughts, overcoming the habit of fault-finding can have a positive effect on our well-being and enhance our relationships with others as well. There are several easy ways to become free of this debilitating tendency.
To dismantle the habit of fault finding, first one has to become aware that it is a prevailing tendency of thought, speech and behavior. If you notice that you tend towards a negative state of mind and others tell you that they perceive you as being overly critical then more carefully examine your thought patterns, especially your first tendency upon encountering a situation. What is the first thing that you notice? Does your awareness seek out what is wrong, out of place, or displeasing to you? Or, do you tend to be aware of what is pleasing, what is in order and what is correct or done well?
Someone who is a habitual fault finder will experience a lack of joy in daily life and a lack of harmony in interpersonal relationships. Sometimes this habit is simply a learned behavior carried out unconsciously, a family pattern that was left unquestioned. Other times it may be due to a perceived need to feel superior, in control of situations or other people, or the desire to be noticed. Any of these rationales for the tendency are not consistent with our essential nature and therefore can be discarded. Such reasoning is built upon the error thought of the false self, or ego, which strives to maintain an identity based on separation. To keep this charade going, the unrestrained ego will attempt to assert itself on the environment as the master of experience. One of its methods is through fault finding, which serves to distinguish it as the owner and knower.
Those who are spiritually awake discern that the ego, which is a necessary mechanism for interacting with others in the world, is not the true self and can therefore be observed and directed by one’s higher true self. Soul is superior to mind and ego is a component of the mind. Simply intend to notice, to be aware of thoughts and feelings, and realize that you can circumvent any habit through soul knowing and your wisdom guided will. Once we become aware of a habit pattern we have the power to change it and to make a new choice.
The decision to make a new choice should be the focus. Otherwise, if one’s attention is directed only toward noticing when fault finding occurs, the potential for engaging in a cycle of self-defeating thinking can arise. This happens when we decide that we will cease from fault finding and then find fault with our self when we notice that we have done it. To avoid this trap, determine that you will use the occasion of becoming aware of fault finding as a prompt to change your focus. Decide to notice and inwardly affirm what you find praiseworthy. In the moment of noticing, the light of conscious awareness is always present, simply be grateful for that. How wonderful it is to be aware!
Another way to break the negative cycle is to decide to assume the best. Assume that the highest good is always prevailing; assume that life in general and other people in particular are supporting you. Assume that people are basically good. This is easy to do because it is true of everyone at the core of their being, regardless of appearances. This positive attitude helps to clear restless thoughts from the mental field and allows the inherent peace of the soul to prevail. We are then more inclined to make choices that affirm our uplifting attitude and soon find that our experience of life is transformed.
Start the day with an affirmative thought. Look forward to your day with confidence in the Infinite, gratitude for the opportunity to experience life and to be of service. Conclude the day with a few moments of reflection on the blessings you received. Notice what was good, what was lovely, what was just. Think on those things.
Think About It: Carol Ryff, a psychology professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison has been studying whether or not high levels of psychological well-being benefit physical health. "There is a science that is emerging that says a positive attitude isn't just a state of mind," she says. "It also has linkages to what's going on in the brain and in the body." Ryff has shown that individuals with higher levels of well-being have lower cardiovascular risk, lower levels of stress hormones and lower levels of inflammation, which serves as a marker of the immune system. Her research on positive mental states is among 44 current grants funded by the National Institutes of Health evaluating optimism. –USA Today
Be Inspired: Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
—Philippians 4:8
No comments:
Post a Comment